More Adventures in Selfimportantville, Part 3

Continued from yesterday

Eventually, I found a gas station on a street corner where I felt almost safe enough to get out of the car, so I stopped to ask for directions (like I said before, I hadn’t been around long enough to know better). I knew the area at least well enough to know that I needed to get back to Route II, a state highway which runs through CityF, past my residence, and all the way to Selfimportantville. The following dialogue ensued between myself and the dim-looking adolescent at the cash register.

Del P.: How do I get back to Route II?

Dumb kid, with tortured deliberation: Um…do you mean Route II the highway?

Del P.: (As opposed to what, Route II the theme park?) Er, yes. I need to get back to Route II, Route II eastbound, heading back toward Selfimportantville…?

Dumb kid, looking painfully perplexed, then suddenly enlightened: Oh! I thought you meant Route II the highway.

Del P.: (?????)

Dumb kid, confidently: This is Route II here (points out at city street).

Del P.: (um, no it’s not…) Hm, er, well, I haven’t seen any signs…

Dumb kid, miraculously self assured: Oh, yeah, if you go down that way you’ll see a sign in a couple of miles.

Del P.: (This isn’t Route II…Route II is a limited access divided highway…this is a city street…but it’s not like I have anything better to go on…). Um, ok, thanks.

I left and drove down Not Route II in the direction Dumb Kid had indicated. And sure enough, after a couple of miles, I saw a sign for…Route II(A). Which is not the same as Route II. Which is 1.5 lanes wide and completely lacking streetlamps. Which does eventually lead to Selfimportantville, but only after winding through approximately 50 miles of minimally inhabited Gravel Region countryside.

Fortunately, I did know how to get home via Route II(A) , and having been in Selfimportantville for less than a month at this point, I still had a large enough store of patience to do so. The whole ordeal lasted around four hours.

Epilogue: I did make it to the CityF church gathering on a later occasion, after taking the navigation into my own hands. When I arrived, I told the other people there about my previous difficulties, and they asked how I had found the place this time around. I told them, “Well, I found out the name of the person who lives here, then I looked him up in the phone book, and found the address on a map.” To which the CityF churchgoers responded, “Oh, wow! That was so smart! I never would have thought of that.”